Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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