apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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