goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize