yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
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I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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