The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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