I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
