just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize