you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
