so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
