ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
