I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
