When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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