I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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