All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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