i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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