i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I bet he comes in French.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
