I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All the doctor said was why
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
