So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize