it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
