Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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