I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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