The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
