Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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