Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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