i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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