let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
