So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
