evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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