oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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