You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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