is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
