I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize