you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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