I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
