please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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