Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a beard to bite.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
