I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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