Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
