Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
