So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
