so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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