is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
