Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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