And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
