You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
