I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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