I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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