HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
