discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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