He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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