not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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