we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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