Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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