CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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