i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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