Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
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i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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