I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
