I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize