if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
