Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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