my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
