More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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