OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
