This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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