Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.

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  (770): I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair. http://tfl.nu/2vto
  Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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  (724): Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like. http://tfl.nu/trgq
  Replies (10) Good night (2712) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

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  (727): Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo. http://tfl.nu/8g98
  Replies (14) Good night (1329) Bad night (4018) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.

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  (717): Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision. http://tfl.nu/qwmb
  Replies (17) Good night (2700) Bad night (3531) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.

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  (619): Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser. http://tfl.nu/agjn
  Replies (33) Good night (3491) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...

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  (+44): got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night... http://tfl.nu/vdnw
  Replies (11) Good night (2761) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5206) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.

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  (715): Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/cvdz
  Replies (7) Good night (2327) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.

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  (567): I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin. http://tfl.nu/b7wh
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (1546) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Wanna skype?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.

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  (425): Wanna skype? (1-425): Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no. http://tfl.nu/gc87
  Replies (7) Good night (2284) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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  (801): Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day. http://tfl.nu/wa25
  Replies (7) Good night (508) Bad night (1252) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

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  (650): I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun" http://tfl.nu/k4ww
  Replies (9) Good night (1578) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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  (919): Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate. http://tfl.nu/d4gp
  Replies (10) Good night (689) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno

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  (617): If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno http://tfl.nu/05ob
  Replies (8) Good night (718) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

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  (989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt

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