Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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