Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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  (845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf
  Replies (4) Good night (5647) Bad night (508)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

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  (773): that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them. http://tfl.nu/o468
  Replies (10) Good night (3745) Bad night (1456)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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  (914): Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ft7q
  Replies (12) Good night (3135) Bad night (510)
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  (818): View more from California

  Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.

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  (818): Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on. http://tfl.nu/cwci
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (3375)
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  (408): View more from California

  You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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  (408): You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree. http://tfl.nu/igom
  Replies (1) Good night (2186) Bad night (845)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.

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  (902): I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits. http://tfl.nu/t5fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2302) Bad night (475)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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  (860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo
  Replies (4) Good night (1614) Bad night (453)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have

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  (727): I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have http://tfl.nu/1hgx
  Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (497)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

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  (267): I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/m0z8
  Replies (10) Good night (1079) Bad night (458)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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  (808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs
  Replies (21) Good night (1360) Bad night (773)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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  (780): Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up http://tfl.nu/x63c
  Replies (5) Good night (1029) Bad night (474)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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  (219): "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance." http://tfl.nu/fhmo
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.

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  (416): I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home. http://tfl.nu/62h6
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Oh we're gynecologists

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  (334): Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween? (334): Oh we're gynecologists http://tfl.nu/xv3o
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (175)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.

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  (254): Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS. http://tfl.nu/4s6u
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (159)

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