I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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