Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

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  (843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web
  Replies (69) Good night (5700) Bad night (1180)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

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  (772): she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left http://tfl.nu/4rhs
  Replies (20) Good night (1056) Bad night (8004)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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  (410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo
  Replies (27) Good night (836) Bad night (4869)
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  (+81): View more from

  I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You're never coming back, are you?

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  (+81): I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days. (+61): You're never coming back, are you? http://tfl.nu/mhpp
  Replies (63) Good night (6746) Bad night (878)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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  (514): It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get.. http://tfl.nu/agd7
  Replies (9) Good night (3526) Bad night (1164)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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  (419): I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included? http://tfl.nu/4lo3
  Replies (17) Good night (5174) Bad night (1255)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6290) Bad night (1068)
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  (831): View more from California

  You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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  (831): You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint http://tfl.nu/ergy
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (1163)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.

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  (518): It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear. http://tfl.nu/ktyi
  Replies (20) Good night (856) Bad night (1814)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

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  (804): Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive http://tfl.nu/45br
  Replies (9) Good night (2126) Bad night (722)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.

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  (563): Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me. http://tfl.nu/48rp
  Replies (11) Good night (3365) Bad night (860)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.

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  (+61): First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost. http://tfl.nu/c1qe
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (809)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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  (702): Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors. http://tfl.nu/41jv
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (300)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.

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  (905): Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar. http://tfl.nu/gbhh
  Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (308)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?

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  (469): Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush? http://tfl.nu/eg9u
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (230)

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