Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

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  (330): yah i'm on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok http://tfl.nu/s4ag
  Replies (35) Good night (1098) Bad night (7227)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.

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  (701): Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this. http://tfl.nu/tncp
  Replies (22) Good night (1700) Bad night (3998)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?

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  (720): i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do? http://tfl.nu/0v59
  Replies (21) Good night (7805) Bad night (721)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the snow is so cold on my vagina.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do you have snow on your vagina?

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  vodka and heels.

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  (580): the snow is so cold on my vagina. (405): why do you have snow on your vagina? (580): vodka and heels. http://tfl.nu/uvnf
  Replies (45) Good night (6265) Bad night (1388)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem

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  (214): Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem http://tfl.nu/y1i7
  Replies (6) Good night (3454) Bad night (801)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6036) Bad night (846)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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  (541): he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'. http://tfl.nu/j3su
  Replies (11) Good night (3692) Bad night (1494)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (1104)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

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  (910): The strip club called, they have your shoe. http://tfl.nu/kbp6
  Replies (13) Good night (3761) Bad night (810)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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  (623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23
  Replies (5) Good night (1420) Bad night (628)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude

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  (318): You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude http://tfl.nu/d0gl
  Replies (10) Good night (1751) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.

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  (561): I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life. http://tfl.nu/gxts
  Replies (2) Good night (1615) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car

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  (703): I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car http://tfl.nu/t9eq
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (389)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes

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  (210): hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes http://tfl.nu/7n4w
  Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit

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  (403): Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit http://tfl.nu/zv0h
  Replies (6) Good night (288) Bad night (674)

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