I think I died a long time ago.
In America we eat man semen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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